Stay Tuned and Get Pumped! (is what I was going to say.)

Patience, my dear ones. For I am off to a happy place, where I will be celebrating my 8th Engagemaversary in that very same spot.

…is what I had written, yesterday,

prepared to publish today,

as I would now be off to St. John, via St. Thomas, with my entire family; Parents, siblings, kids…

It’s funny. Just last week, Jordan said, “The way to virtually guarantee that a child will get sick is to schedule something that you really want to do.”

And it has been no secret that we have been sickie little chickies in my house for the past month.

But weeks of sick days and doctor visits all kind of came to a head yesterday when I crashed, unexpectedly, at 3pm, woke up two hours later in excruciating ear pain. I have been suffering from TMJ on my right side, but this pain was on my left. And I couldn’t hear out of my ear. Weird.

So, I shook the sleep out of my head and rallied to give the baby his nighttime bottle, give my daughter her kiss goodnight, and I told my husband that something wasn’t right. All of the local urgent care facilities were closed and all my doctor besties were stuck without otoscopes (I just wanted to see if I was crazy), so we found a Care Stat location a little ways away and I got checked out.

I told the doctor about my TMJ. “First let me look at your right ear, or your ‘good ear’,” she said.

“Yup, this ear is infected.”

Then she moved onto my left.

And all she said was, “Whoa.”

That’s never what you want to hear from a doctor.

So I have a double ear infection, but on my left side it is pretty severe, and I am prohibited from flying for a week. Which means that we had to cancel our trip to our happy place.

It’s ok. I was most disappointed for my daughter and parents, but we have made alternate arrangements so that my kids will be taken away on a fun family trip, just the four of us, that involves driving, and no change in elevation that will perforate my eardrum.

I walked out of the urgent care office, into the Krispie Kreme two doors down, and ate a hot glazed doughnut right off of the conveyer belt. Because, really, what else was there to do?

So, I will continue where I had left off yesterday before this all went down (when I thought I would be leaving you for St. John):

Please don’t think I would leave you hanging. Oh no.

Because we have some big changes on the not so distant horizon; my home for the past 4.5 years,

http://www.mommyeverafter.wordpress.com,

just got quite the makeover. We are moving on up people.

Very soon, this blog will be located at…

http://www.mommyeverafter.com

You can visit the site to countdown to our big launch on December 22. There will be ads! There will be new categories! There will be a feathers! This is forrealz.

And I realize that my audience here is mixed; some of you have been here from the beginning, while others are newer to the land of mom. So I am leaving you with some old favorites. And the fun thing is, they lead you to other old posts. You have almost 900 of ’em to wade through as I wade through the ocean. (Editor’s note: I don’t even have to say it. Frowny face.)

Let me take this opportunity to say thank you.

This past year (and I am getting choked up) has been the hardest in my life; I am so grateful for the support I have received from YOU. You have empowered me to tell me story and motivated me to help others. Thank you. I would not be here without you.

So here you go. I’ll be popping in here and there over the next week, but to tide you over:

Something motivational

Something sweet

Something musical

Something nostalgic

Something comprehensive

Some Important Insight

The craziest call to the pediatrican ever. (Really, ever.)

The second craziest call to the pediatrican,, ever. And it’s a close second.

Something Happy.

Something Hard.

Something Hopeful.

See you on the flip side at http://www.mommyeverafter.com,

the home of everything ever after.

#six

For some time now, K and I have been leaving notes for each other in the same word document on the computer every night for each of us to wake up or come home to or find. It is romantic, it is tender, it is intimate and it is organic. We are finding ourselves again, and, just as importantly, finding each other.
It started out as nothing; I was going to bed earlier than he, and he was downstairs having a guy’s night. Instead of sending him a text, I decided to leave a word document open on the computer with a quick note. And has turned into something more. And then, he wrote back.

B-
I love you so much,
You are my constant sunray,
This is a haiku…☺

As I’ve said, for the past six years, Kenny has been my husband; for the past six months, he has been my hero. He has held me up, he has championed for me, for our family. He has loved me through times that were gruesome and horrifying. He has loved me when I have told him not to.
Kenny and I met so young; we grew up together. And in the past six months, we have grown closer than we could have imagined. When I think back to being kids, tracing love letters in the sand at the Jersey shore, I could not have imagined the team that we would create; how we can read each others’ mind with just a glance; how we, so often, buy each other the very same greeting card; how he knows that I prefer a bag of scones or a large soft pretzel over flowers, as a gesture of romance; how he has seen my darkest underbelly and loves me not just in spite of it, but because of it.
So many years ago we agreed to a baby’s name, and to a family, and to a life. Six years ago, we agreed, with marriage vows, to stay together through the highs and lows. But now, every single day, with every morning that we wake up next to each other, we agree to continue fighting, for ourselves, for our family and for each other.
Recently, we downsized from a King to a Queen sized bed. We wanted to show our emotional closeness in a physical way. And now, I feel so lucky that I can role over to my left each morning and see the boy I have a crush on, as he snores softly in slumber, and know that he is forever mine.

My dear K-I love that you
Sometimes do
An improper Haiku.
So you know
This was not suppo’
Sed to be a haiku
But I love you,
Through and through.

Aprils.

It seems that time is going by at warp speed. My baby had his half birthday. Things are flying.

And so I decided to take a look back.

On this date in April 2010 I had just become a mother six days prior. It was my third day home from the hospital. I was learning to nurse in the side lying position. My daughter was sleeping in her carseat, buckled up and with straps tightened, next to us in our bedroom (we had no idea what we were doing). I still looked pregnant, I was not yet adjusted to the change and yet I had found tremendous love in that little pink thing they called my daughter.

This is April 2011

This is April 2012

April 2013 was a rough time for me. I was suffering from debilitating morning sickness. I was on prescription medicine so that I would only get sick 10 times a day. I announced my pregnancy, as I was already showing. I swear, I started to show from the moment that the stick turned pink. Everyone told me I was having a boy. Every. Single. Person. Ever. Perhaps it was because I looked like, as someone said, a bowling ball with sticks coming out.

I was starting to deal with some anxiety and depression, but was very focused on teaching my class and loving on my daughter.

I remember a few specific things about April 2013. I remember having coconut cake for dessert  on my birthday (we invited our next door neighbors in to join us, who, at the time, were new friends, and have since become dear, close friends). I remember that my husband had the County declare the day in my name as a tribute. I remember sitting outside on the picnic benches with my class, eating mini cupcakes. I remember that one kid stole 3 of them. I remember that we had a small mosaics party for my daughter. I remember seeing Pippin on Broadway and finding it to be life changing. I also found myself completely out of control of my emotions during the opening song, “Magic to Do” and was laugh-crying as the actors on stage engaged me. It was out of body.

April 2014 has been a ride. My first baby turned four. And she has become such a person. My babysitter just texted me with all of the funny and irreverent things that my daughter said today while I was out. Among them was that she told her brother he as being boring like an old grandpa.

April has tightened my circle. It has given me special times with my dearest friends. Home cooked Shabbat dinners, crazy photobooth pictures, pitchers of sangria and dance parties.

April has brought great emotional changes. It has brought my husband and I closer. Closer than ever.

April has given me some insight, some perspective and some maturity.

April has given me some healing.

I look forward to what the next month brings (I bought a white dress to wear on our May anniversary),

but for now, I’m enjoying this month,

my favorite month,

and I am now realizing how far I’ve come;

not just from April 2010, but from the past few months. As I said, it’s still hard. But April has been brighter.

Thank you, April. Thank you with all of my heart.

Anniversary

Last week, we celebrated our Anniversary.

I have so much to say, but don’t quite know how…

except for this:

Four years ago, life looked like this:

And this year, on our anniversary, it looked like this:

And today, it looks like this:

Ever after,

for always

and love love love is still all I need.

HAPPY…

New Year!

I hope that two thousand and twelve brings you peace and love. And dance parties and belly laughs. And glitter. And baby kisses. And more love.

And Happy Anniversary, to me.

To us.

For, on this night, seven years ago,

I was on a plane,

flying across the ocean,

to a far away land,

and to a new place, both literally and figuratively,

after which I would never, ever, evereverever be the same.

For in that place,

I fell in love

with a one of a kind City;

in that place,

I fell in love with a

One of a kind girl.

Twin,

you mean more to me now than you meant to me then,

(and you meant a whole gosh-darn heck of a lot to me then)

and I do not know what my life would be without you.

You have taught me,

you have changed me,

you have accepted me,

you have held me,

you have loved me.

Twin, I love you more than you loved those chocolate churros, or that perfect bite of tapas at cal pep, or the amazing meusli at Mercadona, or the gummies at Bon Jon, or the puppies in the puppy store, or the smell of the Rocafort metro stop…

or the big red couches.

Happy Anniversary, Barca. Happy Anniversary, Twin. Happy New year.

Happiness Always.

(And P.S. because it must be said. Because, well, it just must: “Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that’s just fabulous.”–Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City, Series Finale. Twin, seriously…I love you more.)

Want to hear something weird?

This week, it will be exactly 2 years since my little girl found her way into my belly.

I like to think that she got there riding on the back of a tiny, rainbow Unicorn,

but this has yet to be confirmed to me.

I can’t wait until she’s a little older so that I can ask her!

So, in the meantime,

Happy Happy

Uteruversary.

What a 2 years it has been.

This Weekend!

This weekend is sure to be exciting.

1) The baby is turning 16 weeks.

What?

That’s not a milestone b-day for you?

Well, don’t you remember how it is in our family?

I’m thinking “My Super Sweet 16 (weeks) Princess Style Pinata Par-Tay”

That just rolls right off the tongue, no?

2) TWIN IS A-COMIN’!!!!!!!!!

Yes, my sister from another mister and her better half (otherwise known as puppy Ziggy’s G-d-father) will be in residence, starting tomorrow!!!!!

More reason to celebrate!!!!!

3) This weekend marks the one year anniversary of my first positive pregnancy test. Not that I believed in that second, faint line…but still. It was real.

More to that story, to come….

goodnight bunnies

“Before you were conceived
I wanted you
Before you were born
I loved you
Before you were here an hour
I would give my life for you
This is the miracle of life.”
-quote by Maureen Hawkins

Going by the old handy-dandy pregnancy calculators,

it was exactly one year ago today

that my daughter first made her grand entrance

into my womb.

I remember that day well,

as we saw a family of rabbits dancing next to our front porch.

This is not a euphemism.

On the day I conceived my daughter,

A group of rabbits hopped and scampered in a circle, as we sat outside, eating dessert, and laughing,

amazed,

at their beautiful recital.

Now, talk about a metaphor.

Maybe those little bunnies were, in fact, a sign;

a harbinger of the tiny dancer who would soon be making my heart skip with her small, amazing kicks,

felt by me,

and me alone,

for so long.

Happy Anniversary,

baby.

I’ve loved you more and more, each day.

Happy Anniversary,

bunnies.

I hope that you are somewhere,

hopping and dancing,

by the light of the summer moon,

and the twinkling fireflies,

whose glow will guide you into tomorrow.