happy new

Full disclosure:

I’ve now written about 15 different “first lines” for this post.

None are sticking.

None seem to fit.

None will do justice to all that I am feeling.

It is the first morning of the first day of the new year,

and we have so much to celebrate,

but I am tongue-tied.

Going from 2010 to 2011 was an incredibly,

and unexpectedly,

emotional turnover for me.

As the final minutes of the best year of my life ticked away, I started to panic. I wasn’t ready for 2010 to end.

I couldn’t get a grip on Time as it raced away from me, towards the shiny, flashing future.

For some reason, the end of 2010 symbolized something for me that I was not ready to give up.

It probably has something to do with 2010 being the year that I had my baby.

It probably has something to do with the fact that time is going by far too quickly for my liking.

It probably has something to do with the fact that “the year my baby was born” is a lot more easy for me to accept than “the year that my baby turns one”.

But, you know what?

It most definitely does not matter what was probably plaguing me, because time continued to tick away, as it always has,

and always will,

and before I knew it,

the clock struck 12

and 2010

was gone

before I was even able to bid it a proper farewell.

Instead, I held my baby,

who woke up and started to whimper in her bed just in time for the final countdown,

and whom we decided to bundle up and bring downstairs to ring in the New Year with us.

Right as the new year began, my husband and I leaned in and each kissed a sleepy baby cheek,

and my eyes filled with tears.

My tiny, itty, new baby

is not so tiny,

nor so itty

nor so new.

It’s not 2010 anymore, after all.

So after I kissed her,

and kissed my husband,

and our best friends,

I said the  Shehecheyanu,

my favorite prayer,

as a hope for what is to come for us in the future.

It may no longer be the year in which my baby was born,

but I believe that it will be the year of many beautiful new firsts.

First birthday.

First steps.

First piece of cake.

And maybe, just maybe,

First ponytail.

And as much as I wish that time would slow down,

even just a little bit,

I know that I have a lot to be excited for in the days

and months

and year

that lies ahead.

11 is my lucky number,

after all.

Happy New Year.

I hope that there is good for you

in all that is new.