you know you’re a new parent when…(the rockin’ Saturday night edition)

You know you’re a new parent when you’re so desperate to get the baby to bed at a decent, early hour,that you give her an extra-long feeding, and, in turn, end up over feeding the baby, causing her tummy discomfort, which manifests itself into a lovely little crying session.

You know you’re a new parent when you are forced to walk around your bedroom, in your 2nd (or 4th) pair of PJs (Perhaps you were spit up on. Perhaps there was a little incident involving pee.) rocking the baby to relax her belly and assuage her tears.

You know you’re a new parent when your husband stops what he’s doing to pick up the baby, baby stops crying, starts smiling, pulls husband’s glasses off his face, almost puts them on her own face, almost puts them back on husbands face and giggles.

You know you’re a new parent when you place giggling baby down in her bed and she starts to wail, again.

You know you’re a new parent when you decide to throw in the towel, and bring baby into bed with you, to hold her close to your heart, so that she will be soothed.

You know you’re a new parent when your baby falls asleep, right away, just by being in your warm embrace.

You know you’re  a new parent when you are stuck, curled up with baby, one hand holding baby’s hand, and manage to break one hand free in order to grab your cell phone. Then, you manage to type one handed text messages to husband, as the only way you can communicate, as you wouldn’t dare make a sound and risk waking the sleeping baby, who has spread out, like a cute little octopus, across your entire body.

You know you’re a new parent when your lovely, romantic Saturday night conversation with your husband (if you can consider a one-handed text message a conversation) goes something like this:

“Hi. Her eys are closed/”

[husband nods]

“Movie?”

[husband shrugs]

“Justtt tpick something. nothing scary k/”

You know you’re a new parent when you must end this lovely pillow talk because your arm falls asleep.

You know you’re a new parent when all of these shenanigans don’t seem as crazy as whatever happened to you yesterday.

Or, so I’ve heard.