Rose Colored Glasses

3 Jun

originally published on Little Four Eyes

It has been 10 days since my sweet girl got her glasses.

On day 1, I hated them.

She looks different. People are looking at her differently. She’s not used to them. Are they uncomfortable? Is she still the same little girl? Of course she’s the same little girl. What is wrong with me? How could I be so shallow? So vain? Will I always feel this way?

These questions,

these fears,

played for me, over and over again,

like a montage in my mind.

In the battle between me and my daughter’s farsightedness,

the glasses were totally kicking my behind.

On Day 2, I decided to take my daughter out for the first time.

Please know that I recognize how silly this sounds. I am a devout believer of inner-beauty and unconditional love, and an advocate for compassion and tolerance. I knew how much worse it could be. Yet, I hated them, still.

And so, I took my little girl to a local farmer’s market. I felt vulnerable. For my girl. For us.

I was scared.

The first person who greeted us smiled at my daughter. “She’s soooo cute!” the woman said.

“HER GLASSES ARE NEW. THIS IS HER FIRST DAY WEARING THEM.” The words spewed from my mouth, so quickly I had scarcely taken a breath. My defenses were up, my sword was drawn, and I would make sure to strike first, before anyone could dare comment on my daughter and her eyewear. I was so scared that people would look at my beautiful little girl and only see glasses. So, in true crazy-person fashion, I headed them off at the pass.

The next person to approach us was a kind, older lady who squealed when she took in the sight of my little one.

“Ooh! My, look at her cute shoes!”

I exhaled. I bit my tongue. Don’t mention her glasses. Don’t make any sudden movements.

“Thank you.” I choked out between my smile of gritted teeth.

“And those glasses! They are adorable!”

I am not sure if was able to muster a thank you before pivoting and scurrying off without my broccoli rabe.

Why was this so hard for me? What was my problem?

And then, around day 3, something amazing started to happen. My little girl began to keep her glasses on all day long. She began to whine or whimper when they would come off. And she started to study her books with a new intensity. She started to say new words. She started doing things she’d never done before. So many things.

And  she started to look like herself again to me.

She was my little girl again. A new version, yes, but certainly a better one. She began to see world around her with new clarity. She could, for the first time, see blades of grass and the tiny spots on a ladybug; she could see my face, beaming with pride.

So now, on day 10, I love her glasses. I appreciate them.

And yes, every time we go out, we get at least a comment or two.

“She looks so precious!”

“I didn’t know they made glasses that small!”

“My daughter also needed glasses as a baby.”

And, the ever-popular,

“How did you know she needed them?”

That one I have fun with.

“Oh, she started to read her sonnets in Spanish instead of French, so we knew her eyes weren’t working properly.”

Or something like that.

So yes, my fears have come true in some ways, because the fact that she wears glasses has become a thing.

But, you know what? Everyone has a thing.

And as far as  things go, I’ll take this one any day of the week.

So, my daughter isn’t the only one seeing the world differently right now.

When I look at her little face, I am reminded to always lead with love,

to give compassion to everyone I meet,

to stop making assumptions based on how things look

and to always,

always,

look on the bright side and stay positive.

Because you know what? Life is much better with a glass(es) have full.

In fact, you just might say that everything looks

rather rosey.

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6 Responses to “Rose Colored Glasses”

  1. Lisa June 4, 2011 at 7:31 am #

    I am so glad you girls have reached this point. As each day goes by you will become so used to seeing her sweet little face with the glasses on that when you see her without them on it will look like something’s missing.
    I really had to LOL re: what you say/think when people ask how you know she needed glasses. I might have to use that myself 😀 I find it’s always other mothers with young children who ask the question. Like someone else on another site said – it’s more to reassure themselves that *they* haven’t missed something.
    Sounds like you are doing so well. It’s all worth it – trust me. We gave had the glasses for around six months now and at the opthamologist the other day she told me that because my son’s eyes have responded so well to the glasses therapy and patching and because we caught it all so early – she expects that he won’t need glasses beyond 8 years old. I nearly fell off my chair. I really, really love his glasses now <3. So just take each day/week/month at a time.
    Xx

    • mommyeverafter June 4, 2011 at 8:30 am #

      Thank you, thank you, thank you, Lisa! You are an inspiration to me and I am so amazed by your story!
      And, as far as my comments when strangers ask me about the glasses–someone on the other site brought to my attention that perhaps I shouldn’t be so snarky. The truth is, I am not. When a stranger asks me about the glasses, I tell the truth (which is that her eye was turning in, and because my mom and sister had the same thing at 2 and 3, I knew what to look for). I do sometimes make jokes, but I also want to be extra careful, from here on out, to be sensitive to those asking me about them. Than you, again, for the amazing support!! xxx

  2. Daysha November 28, 2011 at 11:07 pm #

    Thank you so very much for posting this. My 9 month old little guy has been patching for 3 months and has his cataract surgery this Friday, so our glasses are close. Yes I’m nervous about the surgery, but I know and believe it is needed. My hurt, right now, hurts more for the idea of the glasses. That he will be in them forever. The kid in the glasses. The inconvenience in sports, swimming and wrestling around with his brother. How his most precious ever look will change. Yes praise God this is my worry compared to the many possible worries out there. But still, this thing is heart breaking for me. Thank you for letting me open up.

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