Daddy, Ever After

13 Sep

So, as I was browsing the internet yesterday,

(read: baby fell asleep while nursing. I had nothing to do but read blogs from my Blackberry) I came across this delicious little interview from the Blogger extraordinaire, The Pioneer Woman, during which she interviewed her rugged cowboy of a husband about all things “hiney-tingling”,

to use her slang.

In her twang. Know what I’m sayng?

In any case, I realize that the mamas get a lot of play around here in these parts,

and I also realize that I tend to be a bit neglectful of the other,

y-chromosome-totin’

half of the baby ‘quation.

(See what I’m doing here? Trying to talk….um…..type…with a twang. It doesn’t even make sense, I know. Just bear with me.)

And so, I broke out the good ole’ Flip Cam and staged an interview,

with a daddy I know,

a daddy I love,

a daddy whom I will refer to as “K”.

(editor’s note: The following is the exact transcript of an interview conducted in the afternoon hours of September 13, 2010. We have video proof.)

Very Professional Interviewer: Okay. Ready? Okay. What are 3 words you would use to describe being a dad?

K: Adventure. Adventurous? No, Adventure. Unknown. Incredible.

VPI: Hmmm. Good words. Ok. Next question. What did it feel like when the baby  was first born?

K: My whole life had changed. But, in a good way. I don’t really know, because I was bawling my eyes out. But, it was amazing.

(editor’s note: at this point, baby started to wail in the background. She must have heard the word “bawl”. So smart, she is. Just sayin’ Anyway, at this point in the interview, we both had to shout, just to hear each other speak. And by we, I mean the Very Professional Interviewer and her subject, of course.)

VPI: How does it feel to be outnumbered by a bunch of girls?

K: I’ve gotten pretty used to it. I mean, I’ve been outnumbered for awhile, with Lola and all. and Zig is practically a girl dog, anyway.

VPI: So what is a house full of girls like?

K: Pink. Pink and pastel.

(editor’s note: I don’t think he knows what pastel means. I mean, the Very Professional Interviewer doesn’t think her subject knows. He’s a little funny with colors, if you remember. Moving on.)

VPI: When did you first realize that you loved me?

K: Of course. I don’t know. Honestly, I just felt it…it seemed like a natural thing to feel. There wasn’t like any one moment when I said, “Oh, I love this girl.” I just kinda knew.

VPI: I’ll accept that. What is your favorite children’s book?

K: Seriously? Is that really a question?  Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. You know that. Why are you asking me that?

(editor’s note. Very Professional Interviewer swatted her Subject at this point. She’s professional, like that.)

VPI: How is being a parent different than what they tell you?

K: Ummm…the sleep thing is like, you don’t even notice the sleep thing, everyone always says ‘you’re not gonna get sleep’, but that was the least of my worries. I was more concerned about the baby’s sleep. It wasn’t about me anymore.

VPI: Is that the only thing that is different than what you expected?

K: Everything is different. I don’t think that anyone can describe what it’s really like to be a father. It’s all new. To really understand it, you need to experience it.

VPI: How many kids do you want?

K: 2 or 3.

VPI: What is your favorite thing that is cooked in the land of mom?

(editor’s note: at this point, subject sits with a blank stare)

VPI: Ummmm…..favorite thing that I make……you know, anything?

K: Favorite thing? Your oatmeal chocolate chippers. They’re so good…

….Oh and I do like that stew dish that you invented a few years ago. You know, that fall stew.

VPI: You mean the stuffing?

K: Yeah, the stuffing.

VPI: I didn’t invent that.

K: You didn’t?

VPI: Oh, well, yeah, umm….yeah, OK. Ok, I did. Moving on…

Do you read Mommy, Ever After?

K: Noooo…..Of course I do. What kind of question is that?

VPI: What is Daddy, Ever After?

K: It’s this. I don’t know. You write about it every day. For me, it’s now. Like, the baby is so cute and she’s changing every day. Today, she just started reaching out for me. I love that.

And thus concluded the interview portion of our evening. The baby had had enough. So had her daddy. But, as always, if you have any questions, we’re just an email away; write to mommyeverafter@gmail.com with your questions, comments, fairytales, or any more answers you want from this daddy. Or, if you’re looking for a Very Professional Interviewer, I think I may know someone who knows someone for you.

(editor’s note: Don’t hesitate to email. Seriously. A friend who bakes amazing oatmeal chocolate chip cookies is a friend indeed.)

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: